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lenten journal: be a prodigal

Comedian Steve Martin had a routine in his early days where he talked about how much names matter. He said, for instance, you wanted you bank to be named First Amalgamated Federal National Bank so you felt like your money was safe. If it was called Bob’s Bank you would be less likely to invest because it sounded like you were going to keep their money in your pocket.

When I was in high school, my mother was reading a novel called Christy and she was sure I would like it, but I wasn’t willing to give it a chance. In frustration, she said, “I’ll bet if it was called Joe Fang and His Gang you would read it.” I laughed and said, “I probably would.” When I got home from school that day, there was the book with a handmade cover titled Joe Fang and His Gang.

And she was right: I loved it—once I got past the name.

Jesus never named his parables. The titles were added later by translators and preachers. I’m not actually sure when the names were added. Our passage today is part of three “lost and found” parables that are all named after the thing that was lost and found: the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal son.

I’ll come back to that word prodigal later.

The names set our vision before we even start reading. We are led to believe that the stories are about the sheep, the coin, and the son, but we need to work hard to see past that filter because it’s not that simple; there’s so much more going on.

Our passage started with some religious leaders, who were people of privilege, criticizing Jesus for welcoming “sinners.” Well, actually, the chapter starts with Luke saying that “tax collectors and sinners” kept coming to Jesus. Even Luke had a hard time grasping Jesus’ love for all humanity, perhaps.

And Jesus did not ignore or shun people of privilege. He hung out with them as well. In Luke 14, the chapter just before our passage, he is eating dinner at one of their houses, which happened quite often. But they couldn’t figure him out, and when they asked questions, he answered in parables, which, as we know, don’t explain anything.

A shepherd loses one of his hundred sheep and doesn’t sleep until he finds it, and then wakes up all the neighbors to celebrate with him. A woman loses one of ten coins and tears up the house looking for it, and then spends who knows how much to throw a party to celebrate. And then, a son asks for his inheritance way ahead of schedule, while his older brother keeps doing what he thinks his father wants so he will get all that is coming to him and maybe more. The younger sibling takes off with his fortune and blows it so badly that he ends up feeding pigs.

The young man then plots a scheme to come home and play humble—just let me be one of your servants; I know I don’t deserve to be a son—because he imagines his father has been angry at him since he left and that’s the only way to get back in the house. But the dad has been watching the road every day, hoping he would come home. As soon as he sees his boy, he welcomes him home without waiting for an explanation.

Before we go on, I want to notice two key difference between this parable and the two that preceded it.

The first two started with questions: Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it? Or what woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it?—which inclined the readers to see themselves as the shepherd and the woman—sort of a “if you were in this situation . . .”

Then our parable begins, not with a question, but with, “Once there was a man who had two sons . . . ,” which was a familiar way to start a story, sort of the Aramaic equivalent of “A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar . . .” But Jesus doesn’t point them to which role to play.

The second thing is that the father doesn’t go looking for the boy the way the shepherd and the woman went looking for what they lost. And the boy was not really lost, for that matter, at least not like the sheep and the coin. He left on purpose and lost sight of himself.

That points me to a third difference. This parable has two lost boys. The older brother might have never left home, but he certainly didn’t feel found. While his brother was away, the older son went to the field every day, made sure things were done right, and worked hard to stay in his father’s favor. When he saw his dad go so completely overboard with his brother came home, he couldn’t take it.

Much like the father had gone out the front door to embrace his youngest son, he went out the back door to find the oldest one when he didn’t show at the party.

The older son had his own ways of trying to manipulate the father: “I’ve been here the whole time and you never let me have a barbeque with my friends.” And the father said, “This is not about you. This about us. Your brother came back. Why wouldn’t we throw a party?”

And that brings me back to the word prodigal. It means “given to extravagance, wasteful, giving on a lavish scale, spending recklessly.”

The word gets attached to the younger son who wastes his life and his fortune, but I think the father is the real prodigal in this story. He is the one who offers extravagant, we might even say reckless love.

Because of the names we have given these parables, we often read them as though they were fables or analogies: the shepherd, the woman, and the father all symbolize God–and God is recklessly extravagant in the way God loves us–but if we look at the context of Jesus telling the stories in response to questions about why he hung out with tax collectors and sinners, I think he wanted us to imagine what life would be like if we were the prodigals: if we were the ones who loved extravagantly.

When we put ourselves in the story—well, I’ll speak for myself. When I try to put myself in the story, the most attractive roles are those of the sheep, the coin, and the kid who got to run wild and then was welcomed back because they are on the receiving end of that crazy kind of love. In real life, I am an older brother, though I was the more experimental one in some ways, but in others I have been true to the role working hard to earn love, to earn a sense of self-worth instead of trusting I was worthy of being loved because I was breathing.

That said, I will make a we statement now.

I think for most, we want to picture ourselves as the younger boy at the end of the story, but
we are, more likely, the older one. I don’t mean that we all wish we would run off and do anything we want until we run out of money. I mean we picture ourselves as the one someone is waiting for, the one who gets celebrated no matter what, but we live like the older brother, acting as though the truth is that love is earned.

But the truth is God’s love is not earned. Real love is not earned.

That is great news that is sometimes hard to take because we work hard and we would like all that work to mean something—and it does mean a great deal, but it doesn’t earn us love.

The parable reminds us that life is not about getting our due. The younger son wanted his inheritance and the older one wanted his recognition. If we direct our gaze away from the brothers to the father, we see that he went out to both. He went out the front to meet the wanderer and he went out the back to find the dutiful one. He was pouring out love, regardless of circumstance.

Jesus’ response to those who questioned the kind of people he cared about was to tell parables about a shepherd who dropped everything to find the lost lamb, or the woman who spent half her budget celebrating the change she found in the couch cushions, and a father who loved his children with reckless abandon. That is where we are invited to find ourselves in these stories: as the one who is looking for every reason to love prodigally, to welcome outlandishly, to drop everything to look for those waiting to be found.

In that sense, to be a prodigal sounds like a pretty good way to live. Amen.

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: anything can happen

To reference the Mark Knofler song that shows up at the end of this week’s sermon, this has been a week when I felt like the bug rather than the windshield. I’m hanging in there, and I found helpful insights in Jesus’ parable about the fig tree (Luke 13:1-9). Perhaps they will help you, too.

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One of the persistent questions that followed Jesus had to do with who was responsible for the bad things that happened. When the disciples saw a man who had been blind from birth, they asked Jesus, “Who sinned that this man should be born blind?” In our passage this morning, people wanted to know what certain Galileans had done that caused great tragedy to befall them.

Jesus responded by asking them if they thought the world really worked that way. Then he said, “Repent,” which is one of those words that doesn’t sit easily on our ears. What it means is to “turn around:” to intentionally change your mind, your actions, your heart.

Though I’m sure if we went around the room most of us would say that we do not think that suffering is some kind of judgment, that notion lives all around us. Do you remember the fundamentalist preachers who said AIDS was God’s judgement on gay people? That’s not just crazy talk, it’s damaging and destructive. We don’t live in a cause-and-effect world when it comes to tragedy and difficulty, or even when it comes to blessing and good fortune.

Maybe our experience of the pandemic is the chance to put that kind of damaging thinking out of our minds for good. COVID is not a result of someone’s sin. Let’s let that ripple out a bit more. People are not poor because they did something wrong and God is punishing them. Suffering is not payback. Bad storms are not indicators of God’s disdain. Being rich doesn’t mean we are Jesus’ favorite.

As I said, the human tendency to want to explain suffering by blaming or shaming someone–usually someone else–comes through in this passage. It’s a hard habit to break. The folks around Jesus were talking about some Galileans who were victims of Pilate’s power. The assumption of the non-Galileans was that those folks must have done something to incur his wrath. Jesus stepped in to say that we don’t make meaning out of suffering by blaming or gossiping. What is worth talking about, rather than who is at fault, is how we can participate in grace, so repent: change your heart.

Then he said, basically, “Face it: you are all going to die just like the Galileans did.”

After that rather startling truth-telling, he told a parable about a fig tree that had not grown any figs for three years. The landowner saw the tree as useless and told the gardener to cut it down. The gardener asked him to let the tree grow for another year and he would tend to it. And that’s where the story ends. We don’t know the landowner’s response or if the tree finally grew figs.

When Ginger and I first moved to New England, I wanted to plant a fig tree, mostly because we had one in our yard in North Carolina and I love figs. I talked to gardeners who either said it a fig tree couldn’t survive the winter or gave me a detailed list of the things I would have to do to help it survive. We had friends in Guilford who lived down by the water and they had one, but the problem was the summer here is so short that the figs never had a chance to ripen. Nevertheless, I planted a fig tree our first spring here and did some of the things people told me to do to help it survive the winter, but it died.

One day, I will, too. And so will all of you. Like Mavis Staples sings, “Death is slow, but death is sure. Allelu, allelu.

Aren’t you glad you came to church today?

What can I say? How about: since life is short, let’s use some of the time we have left to look a little more at the parable. One of the ways to look at a story like this is to imagine ourselves as each of the characters in the story.

Let’s start with the fig tree. It was alive. It was growing. But it wasn’t producing figs. It wasn’t that old of a tree, so perhaps it was still getting settled in. Maybe it had dealt with some sort of disease. My fig tree in North Carolina grew big and had lots of figs and for five summers the squirrels came the night before I was going to pick them and took all the fruit off the branches.

In the parable, the landowner was frustrated that the tree was not bearing fruit. He had expectations and things didn’t turn out like he planned, so he told the gardener to chop the tree down. His perspective is not unwarranted. Sometimes we need to let things die; we need to move on–to clear the ground and plant something else. It is healthy to remember that nothing lasts forever–not even us. We are all going to die. The man had waited three years for the tree to bear figs and it had not. He was ready to dig it up and plant something else.

The gardener said, “Give it one more year.” He said he would tend to the tree–fertilize it, work the soil, take care of it. “Let’s see what happens.” The way the parable unfolds, it doesn’t appear that the gardener is new, so he would have been a part of planting the tree and would have been the one caring for it. While the owner was ready to do away with it, the gardener still had hope.

Jesus ends the story without a resolution. We don’t know what happened a year later. Perhaps the tree was laden with figs. Maybe it died like mine did. We aren’t told if the landowner’s heart was softer a year later, or if he had the day marked on his calendar to show up with his saw. The gardener didn’t offer a cause-and-effect solution or make any promisers of figs. All he knew was the only way the tree had a chance was for someone to care for it. We don’t know what happened. We aren’t told how to feel about the characters in the story or what to do as a result of hearing about them, only to repent, maybe to replant.

Where then, can we find ourselves in the parable?

Maybe you feel like the tree. You feel rooted and you’re doing the best you can, but you are not bearing the fruit you feel expected to bear. You keep doing what you are doing, you keep working to do what you think is right, and life isn’t turning out like you thought.

Maybe you feel like the landowner. You’ve had enough of things not going like you expected, so you’re cutting your losses. Time to shed the things and the people who have let you down. Time to dig things up and plant something else. Life is not working the way it is. It’s time to make drastic changes.

Or maybe you feel like the gardener. Life isn’t what you hoped, but you don’t want to give up. If you keep trying and helping and taking care of those around you, there’s always a chance things will start to grow.

The reality is we are all the characters in the parable, depending on the day or the situation–sort of like the Mark Knofler song that says,

sometimes you’re the windshield
sometimes you’re the bug
sometimes it all comes together
sometimes you’re just a fool in love
sometimes you’re the Louisville slugger
sometimes you’re the ball
sometimes it all comes together
sometimes you’re gonna lose it all

Yup. Someday we’re going to lose it all. The fact that life is short is not anyone’s fault. In fact, the reality that life is temporary is what infuses it with meaning. Rather than look for someone to blame (including ourselves) let us repent—turn in a new direction, change course, trust God. We are not defined or trapped by our circumstances. By the grace of God, life is full of surprises. Grow. Replant. Nurture and hope.

Because anything can happen. Amen.

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: night vision

night vision
for Nathan Brown, Poet Laureate of the Apocalypse, on his birthday

the moon was up
before darkness
fell round and bright
like the Pixar lamp
that turns and looks

then it made room
for a night-sky filled
with tiny desk lamps
casting light for one
tired poet and another

or maybe they are
street lamps on milky
ways of metaphors
not to chase the dark
away but to dance

most of those lights
died out long ago
but the news has
not reached us yet
more grief to come

so the poets work
late into the night
to find the words
the names of what
has been lost

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: evening prayer

evening prayer

the world is quiet in our town
the moon shines through clouds
as if God is under the covers
reading with a flashlight

I can hear no bombs
or see any tracer rockets
no buildings are burning
no one has to hide to be safe

I have done nothing to earn
this quiet peaceful night
that I am here and not there
is an accident of lineage

perhaps of privilege
is a better way to say it
so I pray for the Ukrainians
as if it makes a difference

but the longer this goes on
I feel my prayers expand
to wish our leaders had
Zelenskyy’s courage

I don’t have much hope
that prayer will be answered
then I feel my anger rise to
say I wish Putin would die

I would rather him die
than those who were doing
nothing more than living
when the bombs hit

the world is quiet in our town
and I am sad and angry and
bitter and disappointed
in our leaders, our country

we need to do more than
wait till things are over so
we can build a memorial
that God can read in the dark

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: biscuit king

“No one cries over artificial flowers.”–Peter Coyote

biscuit king

by the time we moved to durham
the biscuit king had ended his reign

sunny side up was our breakfast joint
in guilford till they closed down

in charlestown collier’s market made
the best cheeseburger sub evah

I can chronicle my life in closed
down restaurants it seems

gonza tacos y tequila, lori ann donuts
greenville avenue country club

the hop in fort worth, good eats too
american meltdown food truck

I could keep listing them but it’s
no fun without telling the stories

the best thing about cooking
other than who you eat with

is that you know you’re making
temporary stuff on purpose

part of what makes it taste good
is that you run out of food

loss has a lingering flavor
memory is a shared hunger

so tonight I will savor the
biscuit I never got to have

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: opposition

opposition

“If war has an opposite, gardens might sometimes be it . . .”
–Rebecca Solnit, Orwell’s Roses

I used to have a poster that said
“peace, like war, is waged”
and it made sense then
but now I don’t want to be a
part of anything like war

so when solnit says gardens
are sometimes the opposite
of war I want to plant but
is it enough to say, “I see your
war and I’ll raise a tomato”

our ground is too cold for
seedlings but the garlic
we planted last november
has begun to peek through
the layers of dead leaves

one variety is a red garlic
with roots that run to lands
not far from the fighting
a taste of together in the
middle of all that is broken

what the garden knows
that war does not believe
is that we are all connected
it matters to pray and plant
even if I am far away from

those who are huddled
in basements or hoping to
be transplanted to safety
I don’t know how it matters
but I want to trust the flowers

a garden will not stop a war
that’s not what opposites do
they paint a different picture
a hope that grows and feeds
midst the shrapnel in the soil

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: morning glories

Barely a week into my Lenten Journal and I am already missing days.

One of the reasons is good. A longtime friend came to town for a few days and I spent the evenings talking with him instead of writing. But he’s been gone a couple of days and my depression took over responsibility for my absence. These are heavy days for a number of reasons, work in particular, and I am doing what I can.

I am grateful for my interim pastorate in Westbrook for several reasons, but today I am grateful because it gets me back to writing since I have to have a sermon for tomorrow. None of the lectionary passages inspired me so I chose a passage from Luke between last week and next week that is not included in the lectionary cycle: the parables of the mustard seed and the yeast (Luke 13:18-21).

It ended up being a helpful journey for me.

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One of the things I love to do is dig around in our vegetable garden. When I say “our,” I’m talking about the plot behind our house, which is adjacent to the church parking lot, where a group from First Church Guilford dig and plant and harvest in our communal garden, which is available for anyone who either wants to work or needs some of what we are growing. Last summer we shared close to three hundred pounds of vegetables with folks fr/om our community and local food banks. And we ate well ourselves. We also grow flowers in the middle of the vegetables not only because they are pretty but also because they are necessary to attract the pollinators that help keep the garden healthy because the garden is a lot like our lives: it is never about one plant; the health of everything depends on everything else. The garden is an incredible web of relationships–just like life.

Tom has been my gardening buddy for the last five summers. My standard line is I put things in the ground and hope for the best, but Tom actually knows what we are doing. I’ve learned a great deal from him over the years. One of the things I’ve learned is that creative is better than perfect. We have beds marked out and we think about where and what we plant from season to season, but it’s not pristine. If a volunteer tomato plant comes up in the middle of the green beans, we just stake it and let it grow. Three or four years ago, he carried around a little container of morning glory seeds and planted them here and there. Each summer since, more and more of them have shown up without us having to plant anything new. They are everywhere.

I thought about those morning glories as I pondered our passage for today.

Right before Jesus told these two parables, people were questioning both his method and his motives. He wasn’t playing by the rules. He didn’t pay attention to the things that good holy people should be doing. To return to my gardening example, they seemed more concerned that the beds were clean and weed free than they were about what was growing in them. Finally, Jesus said, when it comes to the way God works in the world, think of a mustard seed. It’s small, but it grows into something big that gives birds a place to land. Or think about yeast. It only takes a little to leaven “three measures” of flour. (By our measurements today, that would be over four hundred cups of flour. I’m not sure what the woman was baking.)

In both examples, something small has huge implications.

I can’t tell you how many sermons and commentaries on this passage that stayed right there: one small act of kindness (or one seemingly small insult) can make a huge difference. And that’s an important word to live by, but Jesus is never that straightforward in his parables, and he didn’t tell these two stories in response to someone saying the details didn’t matter. In fact, he was responding to people who were incredibly picky about the details. They didn’t think he should have healed a little girl because it was the sabbath and healing counted as working.

Which brings me back to the morning glories in our garden.

The mustard plant Jesus was talking about was as invasive as the morning glories. It didn’t stay in nice neat rows. It blew with the wind. It traveled with the birds who perched on it when it was grown. It persisted in the soil and showed up wherever it wanted to. Though it had some medicinal uses, it was not an essential plant to the people of Jesus’ time. As much as I love seeing the morning glories, I will confess that after three or four summers of their being in the garden they come up in lots of places where we don’t want them to be, and no matter how much we pull them up, they just keep coming.

Jesus’ use of yeast as an example of how the realm of God spreads in the world is the same kind of story. The woman in the story wasn’t tearing open a little package like we get at the grocery store. She had a little mess of fermentation that she added to the flour. The difference in this story is she meant to put the yeast in the flour, whereas no one was planting mustard.

But in the Hebrew scripture, yeast is a symbol of sin. That’s why at Passover Jewish people remove it from their houses and eat unleavened bread. Perhaps Jesus imagined the yeast affecting such a large amount of flour not because the woman ran a bakery or something, but because, once again, he was saying that the Spirit of God runs over, spills out, goes all over the place.

My first memory of the power of yeast happened when I was a boy. As I have told you, I grew up in Africa. My mother decided she was going to make hamburgers, but they didn’t sell hamburger buns in the grocery store in Lusaka, Zambia. So she decided she would make them. She found a recipe in one of her cookbooks and made the dough, but the detail she missed was how much the dough would rise. She made each bun the size she wanted them to be when they were finished cooking. Instead, she ended up with four really big hamburger buns–big enough that she was able to cut one of them into quarters to make the burgers for her, my dad, my brother, and me. What she thought would make four buns fed us for days, which was not something she was expecting.

But then, we are getting a good bit of practice living with the unexpected.

After two years of the pandemic and some hint that we may be coming out from under the worst of it, one of the unexpected things is that we have a lot of reasons to be despondent about the future of the church right now. And when I say we I am speaking about a much larger group than the folks in this room or the members of this congregation. As we look at the days ahead, congregations across this country are unsure of what is going to happen. Many are wondering if they will survive for much longer or wondering if they will recognize themselves in a year or two.

The difficult reality is we don’t know the answers to those questions.

What the parables offer us is hope—an uncomfortable hope, but still hope—and that is that God’s presence in the world will keep showing up like yeast and mustard and morning glories. That presence may not be in the places where we have always found it, and God may not show up in ways that are comfortable. It may mean some things that we value and love will have to run their course for us to see where God is leading us. That’s another way of saying death has to come before resurrection. Sometimes God’s presence will feel nourishing like fresh-baked bread, and sometimes it will feel challenging, like uninvited morning glories, but what these parables say is that the realm of God is coming up all over the place. And Jesus said it as though it was good news and hard news all at the same time.

After he told these parables, one of the disciples asked him how many people would be saved and Jesus told another parable about the wide road and the narrow gate and how few people would choose the narrow gate, as if to say that even though they were drawing big crowds only a few folks would be the ones to catch on to the way God was at work in the world. His analogy makes me think of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s words:

Earth’s crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God. But only [those] who [see take] off [their] shoes; The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

God is at work in wonderful, imaginative, and subversive ways. We must choose if we will perceive God’s presence as invasive or invitational. We have to choose if we will be those who disrupt our world like mustard plants and yeast, whether we will be those willing to let the Spirit of God to catch us by surprise.

Maybe this is a better way to say it: let us choose to be morning glories. Amen.

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: the grace of never mind

the grace of never mind

the oceans are rising
the sky is falling
I am careening through
an obstacle course
of obligations and
overdue whatevers
I have unread e-mail
unanswered notifications
unwashed laundry
and unmade recipes
everything’s important
and requires my attention
then there’s ukraine
and war and washington
have you seen today’s headline
I’m not sure I want to
but the guns and the walls
and injustice rolling down
I need to fill up the tank
and answer some texts
get ready for tomorrow
remember . . . something
it’s a lot to ask, I know, but
can we go for a walk?

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: and now, the temptations

As I say in the opening paragraph of my sermon for the first Sunday in Lent, to preach about the temptations made me want to listen to the Temptations.

so, round and around and around we go
where the world’s headed, nobody knows
oh, great googa-looga, can’t you hear me talking to you
just a ball of confusion
oh yeah, that’s what the world is today

I’m not sure I cleared up much of the confusion, but here’s the sermon.

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One of the great things about working on a sermon about the temptations of Jesus is that just about any time I sat down to read or think about it, I had a sudden urge to listen to Motown music. The Temptations have played in my head all week: “My Girl,” “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” “Ball of Confusion,” and “Papa Was a Rolling Stone.” I had an image of Jesus in the wilderness with backup singers.

It’s not how it actually went down in the desert, but it was a fun trip for me.

Luke says, “Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan (from his baptism) and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil.”

It’s an odd sequence of events: the Spirit led him into the desert to be tempted by the devil. The word “tempted” can also be translated as “put to the test” or “put through a trial.” That helps me because “tempted” sends my mind thinking about how much I think about getting an ice cream cone whenever I shop at Bishop’s Orchards, or how I can hear the Salt and Vinegar potato chips calling me when I’m in the supermarket.

Jesus has more at stake in this text than blowing his calories for the day.

We have talked several times about how often Jesus seems to be trying to get away from the crowds to pray. Perhaps that desire came from these days in the desert. On the heels of his baptism, he went off by himself to be with God and, in the process, he had to come to terms with himself.

The genius of the temptations is not that they offered Jesus a whole different life, or even a chance to run away from responsibility. What they offered was a different version of himself–a lesser version. Instead of one who would use his miracles to heal and to teach, he could use them for personal gain. Instead of speaking truth to power, he could ally with those in charge to gain power for himself. Instead of facing suffering, he could use his privilege to avoid it and be on easy street.

And the temptations were not a one-time occurrence. It was not as though Jesus never had to stare down these options again once he returned to town. We might stay the temptations stayed with him for the whole tour. The tests he faced in the wilderness were examples of what he faced almost every day: to use who he was and what he could do as a way to make his life more comfortable and powerful.

And, though we may not be able to make bread out of rocks, they are temptations we face as well because they are invitations to live as though life doesn’t cost us anything.

One of the shows I like to watch is Top Chef. It is a reality shows that brings young chefs from all over the country and they go through various cooking challenges to see who can come out on top. At the end of every episode, one chef is eliminated until only one is left standing. Each episode starts with a “Quickfire Challenge” that focuses on a particular skill or ingredient. The winner of that challenge gets immunity in the following “Elimination Challenge,” which usually involves preparing a larger dish.

It’s a big deal to have immunity, I’m sure. But here’s what I have noticed: the chef who has immunity rarely does well in the Elimination Challenge. Either they just kind of coast along or they decide to risk so much that they lose their sense of who they are. The chefs that shine are those who have something at stake.

We are truer to God and to ourselves when we live as though something is at stake.

Because something is at stake. The temptation to think otherwise is a lie.

After he came out of the wilderness, Jesus went to Nazareth, his hometown—another place where people had ideas about who he should be—and read these verses from Isaiah:

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
God has sent me to proclaim release to the captives
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to let the oppressed go free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

By the time the service was over, they ran him out of town because he was not who they wanted him to be. Jesus went back to Galilee and, as the crowds gathered again and again, kept trying to get off by himself to pray.

He had to keep listening to the Spirit to remember who he was and what he was called to do.

I was talking with a friend this week because we are both facing challenges at work that are leaving us with some tough decisions. He quoted wisdom from another friend who said, “We either choose our losses or we lose our choices,” which resonates with Jesus’ words that we have to lose our lives to find them. When we are willing to risk beyond what feels safe or comfortable, we see things in ourselves and in our world that we did not see before. We create possibilities. One of the ways we plot the resurrection is by letting things die so something new can come to life.

That sounds simple and it’s not. To choose our losses is messy and painful and hopeful and scary. But it is also true and beautiful and hard. The forty days of Lent are symbolic of Jesus’ forty days in the wilderness. May these days define us as much as those days defined him. Amen.

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: winter wonderland

winter wonderland

I think winter gets a bad rap
it gets blamed for the
days getting shorter

but that is autumn’s fault
every day of winter is
a little longer than the last

yes, it’s cold but I like the cold
it’s also chili and cornbread
build a fire bundle up

people ask if my depression
is worse in the winter
no spring is the hardest time

the equinox makes me edgy
somehow the daffodils seem
to knock me in the dirt

the weight of the world makes
resurrection hard to take
can I say that out loud

I’ll miss winter even though
I’m dying to plant vegetables
life is not explained by seasons

Peace,
Milton