advent journal: fear factor

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fear factor

it was not long after
the third doctor came by
to tell me it would be

another hour until
I was taken back
to the operating room

that the woman
in the next cubicle
began to assert herself

“I want to leave”
a sentiment shared
on almost every stretcher

but she was serious
and her proclamation
upset the rhythm

of the cardiac ward
the anesthesiologist’s
attempt to subdue her

became a power struggle
as she chose control
over compassion

and stormed away
missing the fear in
the eyes glaring at her

the nurse who followed
said she would help
the woman get ready

and then led her out
past the rest of us
perhaps more fearful

of leaving than waiting
my time finally came
but not before the

doctor offered a litany
of possible complications
all rare he assured

and when I woke
in the recovery room
a few hours later

groggy and aching
I wondered how she
was recovering

and whether either
of us would get
much sleep

Peace,
Milton

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