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advent journal: can jesus be born again?

As Advent begins, I am breaking my blog silence — which was not intentional. I have been writing, but my energy has been aimed at a new book called This Must Be the Place: Reflections on Home that will come out next fall thanks to the good folks at Morehouse Press. To be able to say I am working on my next book feels great; actually finishing the manuscript is more taxing.

Though there is work left to be done, keeping my Advent Journal matters to me. I need to write. I make the journey to Bethlehem through these nightly posts. This is a promise I want to keep. So here I am.

This first Sunday in Advent was Ginger’s first official day at Pilgrim UCC seven years ago. She actually started work a couple of days earlier officiating the funeral of the parent of one of the members here. Yesterday we received word that Ginger’s cousin who had Stage IV liver cancer had died. She was forty-five. Her son, who was twenty-four and had muscular dystrophy, died two days earlier. It was not hard to find resonance as we sang today:

and you beneath life’s crushing load
whose forms are bending low
who toil along life’s climbing way
with painful steps and slow . . . .

John Berger says in Greek the word metaphor means porter: a carrier. A metaphor carries the idea, the meaning. The way darkness steals the daylight of the late afternoon in these days carries the weight of grief and struggle. We are running out of daylight even as we wait for the Light to come. Something in these days always takes me back to a scene in Fiddler on the Roof where the Jews were being run out of their village by the Russian soldiers and one of them says to the Rabbi, “Wouldn’t this be a good time for the Messiah to come?”

Meister Eckhart, a thirteenth century monk, said it another way that speaks to me even more:

We are all meant to be mothers of God. What good is it to me if this eternal birth of the divine Son takes place unceasingly, but does not take place within myself? And, what good is it to me if Mary is full of grace if I am not also full of grace? What good is it to me for the Creator to give birth to his Son if I do not also give birth to him in my time and my culture? This, then, is the fullness of time: When the Son of Man is begotten in us.

Jesus told Nicodemus he needed to be born again, born anew, to re-enter life in a spirit of grace and hope that had died in him. or at least had grown old. Eckhart told us Jesus needs to be born again into our present tense for God’s light to continue to break forth and we are the ones who must give birth to such Love and Light. In the Incarnation, God was not superimposed on humanity, but born right in the messy middle of it all thanks to a teenage girl who had the courage to say, “Let it be.” Now it’s our turn.

Peace,
Milton

confession

There is no them.

Only us:
across the table,
behind the wall,
sharing coffee,
passing the green beans,
throwing stones,
breaking curfew;

armed to the teeth
biting back with rubber bullets,
cheering for little leaguers,
praying for peace,
marching in the night,
hiding behind official jargon;

joining in song,
crying out for explanations,
flying drones in acts
of faceless violence,
dousing ourselves with ice water,
struggling to learn

that life is more than
a series of self-inflicted wounds.

There is no them. Only us.

Peace,
Milton

summer storm

I can see them
coming over the tops
of the trees
the lights at the
old ball park
the roof tops of
the old warehouses
the clouds pile up
some white as anger
behind them a grey wall
as deep as darkness

here comes the rain again
falling on my head like a memory

what I can’t see
is when the storm
will be over
if I am living through
a flash flood of
feelings and grief
or if the darkness
is settling in to stay
all I can do is keep
looking past the ball park
for any sign of light

Peace,
Milton

dreaming in barcelona

I am dreaming these days,
but not in a language I remember;
I wake up with some sense
of where I’ve been . . .
of stories I’ve been told . . . .

In the resonance of my
ruminations, I feel at home
riding strange trains with
Schanuzers who now live
only in my memory.

My father has walked by,
but across the room — I
could only see his back;
I don’t think he was
expecting me.

Sometimes I think I should
make more effort to
remember: keep a pen
by the bed and write
madly when I wake . . .

No. For now I will wander,
much like we did on the
story-ed streets of Barcelona,
soaking up snippets
of Spanish I didn’t know —

save the food words;
I will wander and wait to
be found by that one morsel
of memory that keeps
inviting me to taste and see.

Peace,
Milton

heat wave

the southern summer
is not personal:
the onslaught of heat
and humidity
falls on the just and
unjust the sacred
and the sweaty
gets under your skin
refusing to relent
in its drive to
depletion as you
dart from one cool
remove to the next

more afternoons than
not the swirl and stack
of clouds fills the sky
with the promise of
rain — perhaps relief —
and then delivers
the promised storm on
some and not others
it’s raining in your
lane of life’s highway
your windshield wipers
pull the water across

the glass like a rake
in a sand garden
then erase and try
again without sense
of gain or failure
the best they can do
as the flash flood steams
you like vegetables
healthy though tasteless
left limp by the heat
put in a cool place
to save for tomorrow

Peace,
Milton

san antonio

We’ve been wandering on streetsIMG_4390
where the stones tell stories
and the river laughs and lingers
just below the city streets: the veins
of history flowing underneath
the skin of sidewalks and skyscrapers.

Time feels as wide as the boulevard
in this middle child of a city;
kindness is common currency,
spoken and shared where the biggest
attraction marks a grand defeat.

The stones, old and new, are stacked
as cathedrals and condominiums,
the streets personalized by
the pork chop breakfasts and
homemade tortillas, the bright
colors of a biracial marriage.

My heart slows to match the pulse
of the quiet hope that haunts
theses streets, these stones
as we go down to the river
and trust today is enough.

Peace,
Milton

snapshot

I’ve been in the arena enough to know
my lines. when it came my turn — our turn —
we sang show a little faith there’s magic
in the night — and then cheered as though
we wrote the words or at least made them famous . . .

two nights later I was cooking a birthday
dinner while I watched eight or nine people
spend the evening being friends
serving stories to one another infused
with laughter and what it means to be known . . .

here’s one of me walking around town
sunday afternoon through the middle of
our earth day celebration, alongside of people
determined to find ways to be together
as though we were made for it . . .

I can see my reflection in the window
that looks over the backyard as I write
now late into the night. the house is quiet.
the pups have given up on my going to bed.
I’ve given up on nothing . . .

Peace
Milton

lenten journal: still rolls the stone . . .

In the waning minutes of this Easter night that will slip into a day that will mark, among other things, the running of the Boston Marathon and our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary, I am grateful for life, for the signs of resurrection, for the indefatigable light that refuses to be extinguished. I am grateful for another Lenten journey that has brought me tired and hopeful to the empty tomb.

As my friend Bob Bennett sings so beautifully, “still rolls the stone . . .”

Peace,
Milton

lenten journal: wings

These two lines greeted me in an email from a dear friend today:

Go to the edge of a cliff and jump off.
Build your wings  on the way down.
— Ray Bradbury

My first connection was to my favorite Guy Clark song, “The Cape” —

he’s one of those who knows
that life is just a leap of faith
close your eyes, hold your breath,
and always trust your cape

I find deep comfort in both. Sing yourself to sleep, my friends.

Peace,
Milton

 

lenten journal: statement of faith

In our Adult Confirmation Class that has met during Lent, we talked about writing a statement of faith. We also discussed how inadequate the verb believe is as a translation of the Greek word for faith, which is a verb. Trust would be a better choice, as far as English goes. With that in mind, in the waning hours of this Good Friday . . .

I don’t believe in Jesus; I trust him.
I trust the darkness of today is not the last word.
I trust that the story doesn’t end with the Resurrection.
I trust God never quits looking for us.
I trust God finds some people in different ways than I was found.
I trust there are times when God speaks and I’m the one hearing nothing but the wind.
I trust Jesus is who he said he was.
I trust there is more to Jesus than what I see.
I trust my faith makes my life worth it, regardless of what comes next.
I trust it is more important to be loving than it is to be right.
I trust that God is still speaking.
I trust God is speaking to more than just me.
I trust God’s love is the final word, no matter what else is said.
I trust it will be a word we all can hear.

Peace,
Milton