Home Blog Page 73

advent journal: changing the terms

This week I have been posting poems on my Facebook page. I started because a friend half-jokingly asked me to pick up where the Writer’s Almanac had left off, since it stopped when Garrison Keillor was fired after allegations of sexual harassment. That was a tough one for me. I started listening to A Prairie Home Companion when I was in seminary. I have said more than once that I learned more about preaching from listening to the news from Lake Wobegon than I did from studying homiletics. I loved listening to him tell stories. I read what Al Franken had to say as he announced his resignation. I have a feeling their are more names yet to break forth.

It is not surprising, I suppose, that the issue feels more poignant when our heroes fall, and then I feel foolish being surprised. Many, many years ago Ginger and I both stopped asking, “Who gives this bride to be married?” when we officiated at weddings because the language is a hold over from when weddings were an exchange of property between the father and the groom—and the bride was the property. Though we say we have moved beyond that, that question still gets asked at a lot of altars. We are almost a quarter of the way through the twenty-first century and women still fight for equal pay because the men in charge—including many elected officials—think men are more valuable. Across a large part of Christendom, women are not seen as being capable of ordination or, in some cases, even leadership for no other reason than they don’t have the right genetalia. I grew up being told that “man” stood for everyone and that “he” was a universal pronoun for humans and the proper pronoun for God. All of these things have contributed to a world where men think just because they want something they can have it. How we choose our words matters.

There is more that has to change than our sexual harassment policies. Women are not here to be at the mercy of, or for the pleasure of men. It feels kind of crazy to me to even have to write that sentence as though it were something other than obvious. It is obvious. We have let our traditions and our vocabulary blind us to the ways our culture has subjugated women across the board. It is changing now because women are changing it. They are the ones who brought all of this into a new light. Without any guarantee of safety or success. That is where the hope is, for me. And the poetry. Pay attention, men. God is still speaking.

Peace,
Milton

advent journal: songs of hope

I spent some time looking for songs about hope in my music library tonight, in search of something beyond the songs I go to first. Here’s what I found.

The first is from the Milk Carton Kids, who are sort of Simon and Garfunkel for a new century. Their song is called “Hope of a Lifetime.”

while I pray for Promised Land
to replace all I have made
darkness steals the light I bear
and the hope of a lifetime fades
the hope of a lifetime fades

in the newfound reverie
of quiet peace I found
freedom comes from being unafraid
of the heartache that can plague a man
the heartache that can plague a man

a Spartan smile and westward stare hold a promise in the air
that’s the way they used to find their own way home
by the stars, on their own
by the stars, on their own

I first learned of Glen Hansard when he was a part of the Swell Season. His solo work is equally as compelling. Here is “Song of Good Hope.”

and take your time babe
it’s not as bad as it seems, you’ll be fine babe
it’s just some rivers and streams in between
you and where you wanna be
and watch the signs now
you’ll know what they mean, you’ll be fine now
just stay close to me and make good hope
walk with you through everything

may the song of good hope
walk with you through everything

Marc Broussard is a soulful singer who knows how to sing a love song. Here is “Hope for Me Yet.”

I could write a million verses
every word you’ve heard before
steal some of Dylan’s best
but it’d leave me wanting to say more
‘cause theres so much more

baby if you could love someone like me
theres no end to the possibility
hopes and dreams push away the pain and regret
but loving you just lets me know
there might be hope for me yet

Kate Rusby is an English folksinger I have listened to for a long time. She sings “Only Hope.”

there is peace for the restless one
there is peace for the restless one
she was on the verge of thinking
that her soul was lost and sinking
there is peace for the restless one

and you, you where my only hope
but could you really care for me
l even asked the holy ghost
are you the one I love the most
are you the one to set me free?

I’ll close tonight with a song from Glen Campbell’s album, Ghost on the Canvas, which he wrote and recorded as Alzheimer’s Disease was really starting to take its toll. Here is “Hold on Hope.”

<

campfire flickering on the landscape
that nothing grows on, time still goes on
through each life of misery

everybody’s gotta hold on hope
it’s the last thing that’s holding me

Hope is holding us all.

Peace,
Milton

advent journal: holding the door

Two or three times on Facebook today I saw a picture posted of an engraved quote at the FDR Memorial in Washington DC. It reads,

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.

What is most astounding to me, I suppose, is that those words create disagreement. It seems to me that our most natural response should be to take care of one another, rather than judge or accuse or assume the propensity for possessions is some sort of indication of talent or divine favor. An honest look at the news will tell you that rich and smart are not the same thing. Neither are rich and blessed. Rich and privileged—now you’re on to something. But I digress.

I have been looking for hopeful words to offer this week, and that quote is a hopeful word because it calls us beyond ourselves. It calls us to remember life is a team sport and not a winner-take-all affair. The hope of humanity lies in our capacity to care for one another. In the crush of people trying to get through the doors at Grand Central this afternoon, I saw a woman walking slowly with a walker in front of me. A young man got to the door ahead of her and didn’t see her at first. Just as I was about to try and speed up to open the door, I could see her presence register in his peripheral vision and, even though he had already gone through the door, he turned back and held it open for her and smiled. It was a small motion for everyone except the woman.

Hope is not believing that everything will get better as much as it is trusting that we are here for each other. Hope is living as though it matters that we notice the details. Hope is holding open the door, even when you’re in a hurry. Our actions may not be carved in stone, but they will be remembered.

Peace,
Milton

advent journal: commas of care

For a long time now, the comma has been an important symbol for the United Church of Christ. You have to love a denomination that finds metaphor in punctuation. The idea started with the “God Is Still Speaking” campaign that played off of a Gracie Allen quote—“Never put a period where God has placed a comma”—and a leaning back into the words of one of our Pilgrim ancestors, John Robinson, who said, “There was more light yet to break forth. We in the UCC, therefore, love our commas. Life, after all, is one big run-on sentence.

In looking for words of hope today, I went back through my notes on John Berger’s novel, A to X: A Story in Letters, which is made up of letters from A’ida to her husband, Xavier, who is a political prisoner. The whole story is told from her letters; we never hear from him. In one of the missives later in the book, she tells him,

When I buy baklava, which is not often because I eat too many, I leave a few for her on her windowsill, with a head scarf over them so the wasps don’t come. For these little gifts we don’t thank each other with words. They are commas of care. . . . Commas of care! Punctuating our days with them is something long-term prisoners learn, isn’t it? (176-7)

Commas of care. I love the phrase.

One of the ways the comma is defined is as “a soft pause” in a sentence. It is not a full stop, but a rest or a small break. In one grammatical guide, I found this advice: “The presence or absence of a comma can change the meaning of a sentence—sometimes dramatically.” Perhaps even more so with commas of care. If life is one big run-on sentence, the soft pauses that offer us the chance to show kindness and compassion become even more crucial. In the endless stream of raging rhetoric, the moments that offer us separation and space are life-giving. We are called to punctuate our days with care, to offer glimpses of our shared humanity, to remind one another of our unbreakable belonging, to offer hope in the face of it all,

Peace,
Milton

advent journal: one voice

One of the records that has been in heavy rotation at our house is Fifteen by The Wailin’ Jennys. (There are so many anachronisms in that sentence.) It is a record of cover songs, and specifically songs about grief and sorrow. They have the awesome audacity to sing Emmylou Harris’ “Boulder to Birmingham,” Warren Zevon’s “Keep Me In Your Heart,” and Patty Griffin’s “Not Alone,” along with Tom Petty, Paul Simon, and Dolly Parton covers. Dolly’s song, “Light of a Clear Blue Morning” was what set me to writing tonight, as I went looking for words of hope I promised. And it is worth sharing here.

it’s been a long dark night
and I’ve been a waitin’ for the morning
it’s been a long hard fight
but I see a brand new day a dawning
I’ve been looking for the sunshine
’cause I ain’t seen it in so long
but everything’s gonna work out just fine
everything’s gonna be all right
that’s been all wrong

’cause I can see the light of a clear blue morning
I can see the light of a brand new day
I can see the light of a clear blue morning
and everything’s gonna be all right
it’s gonna be okay

As much as I love the song, I want to offer something more tonight than everything is going to be okay, so I’m going to turn to the song that introduced me to the Wailin’ Jennys: “One Voice.”

this is the sound of one voice
one spirit, one voice
the sound of one who makes a choice
this is the sound of one voice

this is the sound of voices two
the sound of me singing with you
helping each other to make it through
this is the sound of voices two

this is the sound of voices three
singing together in harmony
surrendering to the mystery
this is the sound of voices three

this is the sound of all of us
singing with love and the will to trust
leave the rest behind it will turn to dust
this is the sound of all of us

this is the sound of one voice
one people, one voice
a song for every one of us
this is the sound of one voice
this is the sound of one voice

A song for every one of us. Our one voice is not a solo, but a glorious choir singing back to the night. Let the melody carry you. Sing along.

Peace,
Milton

advent journal: hope

As Advent begins, I wonder how Christ can be born again in our time and in our culture. Yet Luke starts his story by noting that Quirinius was governor of Syria, and he made Mary and Joseph go to Bethlehem because Augustus declared a change in the tax plan. They were surrounded by wars and rumors of wars, by a government that had no regard for anyone but the rich and powerful. They were not married, but they were about to be parents. In the midst of all that was wrong with the world, they were called to hope.

Rebecca Solnit says, To hope is to gamble. It’s to bet on the future, on your desires, on the possibility that an open heart and uncertainty is better than gloom and safety. To hope is dangerous, and yet it is the opposite of fear, for to live is to risk. (Hope in the Dark 4)

For years, I have written on this blog trusting that I had a helpful, and perhaps hopeful, word to say. I have not written here in weeks because I have allowed myself to be beaten down the despair disguised as bravado and the cynicism that masquerades as certainty. The vicious volume on most any media, coupled with another difficult round with my depression have kept me quiet. In the silence, I have worked hard to listen better and I have learned that I don’t have to weigh in on everything. I probably could stand to find a balance, though, because I want to be better at hoping, at living with an open heart and uncertainty.

Hoping is not wishing. Hoping is not believing. Hope put Mary and Joseph on the road, set the shepherds running into town, and made John the Baptist call out the proud and powerful. I hear hope these days in the voices of William Barber, Colin Kaepernick, Anne Lamott, John Pavlovitz, Timothy Tyson, Jimmy Santiago Baca, and Naomi Shihab Nye—people who keep calling us to an open heart and uncertainty. My list is not exhaustive. Neither is it political. I do not hear hope from our elected officials. I hear gloom and safety.

This morning, we lit the candle of hope. This week, I will meet you here each day to offer all the hope I can find. It’s dark, I know. But did you see that moon?

Peace,
Milton

from this window . . .

“From This Window . . .”
A Sermon for Westbrook Congregational Church UCC
Genesis 22:1-14
September 17, 2017

I was a high school English teacher for a number of years. When I had to be out of the classroom, I tried to leave lesson plans for the substitute that were easy to implement. I was not so lucky with this morning’s sermon. Our passage today from Genesis 22, often referred to as “The Binding of Isaac,” is a difficult and problematic story. Let us see what we can find there together.

Genesis 22:1-14

As I have read through this passage over the last couple of weeks, I have seen different things. This has never been an easy story for me. First, I have questions about Abraham. Here is a guy who questioned and bargained and argued with God all along the way in his life, and yet, when God told him to take Isaac up the mountain and kill him, Abraham just went without explaining himself to anyone, and particularly not to Isaac.

I also have questions about what the story says about God. I understand that, even though we talk about the Bible as though it were a cohesive unit, it is actually a collection of literature from a variety of sources collected over thousands of years, so the picture of God is not one that has been systematically thought out; there are layers and changes, even contradictions—and we are dealing with one of the oldest and earliest stories, where the picture of God is just beginning to be sketched.

I also understand we are not reading a journalistic account what happened on Mount Moriah. The stories of Genesis—the origin stories of the Hebrew people and the Jewish faith—were written down much later—after the Exodus—to explain who they were, how they got there, and why that mattered. Since our faith grew out of theirs, we lean into these stories to find our place, yet we read them differently because our story spins off from theirs. As I read Jewish interpretations of the story, which is called the Akedah in Hebrew—the binding—I found these words from Rabbi Rachel Barenblatt, who says the difficult thing about this story is the fact that it can be interpreted in a number of ways.

We don’t know which interpretation is right, or which is true. It seems unfair, somehow, that the Torah—which is supposed to provide guidance, to help us live sanctified lives— is so unclear on this. The story is there, but Torah doesn’t tell us what to make of it. So where do we go?

One place to go from here is up.

Imagine a tower that stretches infinitely high into the heavens. Inside the tower is a spiral staircase, with landings on every floor; at each landing, there’s a window. The view from the lowest window is different from the view on the fifth floor, or the tenth, or the hundredth. As we climb the stairs and pause at the different levels, we see new things. Where on the ground floor we saw earth and stones, from the tenth floor we can gaze out over the landscape. After a long while we see stars. Maybe even galaxies. Eventually something vaster than we can imagine. . . . The view is different from different landings, but that view is always God. . . . What changes, as we work to ascend that tower, is us. As we ascend we become able to see more of God . . . but God is fully there on every floor. . . . Depending on what window we’re looking through, we’ll find different things in the story of the Akedah. Maybe it’s ambiguous for a reason: because the process of studying it is itself a way of learning to see God in difficult places.

The window I keep looking through in this story is wondering what it felt like to be Isaac. We have no indication of how old he was. The assumption, for most, has been that he was a child, but we have no detail in the story that supports that. He could have been a young man. Either way, he follows his father to the foot of the mountain, and then up the slope, after they leave their servants behind. He even carries the wood on his back. He never says a word as his father ties him to the altar; never asks a question, doesn’t speak up after it is all over—or at least, the writers never give him a voice.

Isaac is, it seems, a victim of the will of God. Abraham is convinced God has commanded him to kill his son—the one who is the human confirmation of God’s promise to make Abraham’s descendants as numerous as the stars. Isaac was not in on the conversation. He was not given a say in his future, or his present. Abraham did nothing to offer Isaac a view from his window; instead he just bound him up and tied him to the altar.

Part of what is hard for us to understand in the story is the whole idea of sacrifice, which was a significant part of not only Hebrew life, but most ancient religions: most everyone thought that their gods were appeased, if not pleased, when something was killed as an offering. We don’t have enough time to unpack all the theological ramifications of how the idea of sacrifice has influenced how we see God and see one another today, even though our ancestors in the faith quit making burnt offerings long ago. And I would like to name that we can too easily let ourselves offer up someone else so we can feel safer or more prosperous at their expense.

When I look at Isaac, I see those we have come to call the Dreamers in our country—young people who came here with their parents from other countries, who are now being told their days here are numbered. I see transgender people who are being told they don’t belong because they don’t fit into traditional categories. I see people who are blamed for being born into generations of poverty, as though the things that bind them are somehow their fault. I see people who live with mental illness. People who are on the receiving end of the physical, verbal, and systemic violence of racism.

And I listen to the voices of those who say these people need to be sacrificed for the “good” of the greater society and it breaks my heart that, far too often, they make that claim in the name of God.

Abraham never questions what he thinks God is telling him to do, though he does in most of their other interactions. We are not told what Abraham was feeling or thinking, but something made him move unquestioningly, convinced he was doing the right thing, all the way to raising the knife to kill his son. At the last moment, an angel cries out, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him!”

Perhaps one of the things we can take away from this story is when we come to those moments in life where we are dead certain God is on our side, that God has told us the truth—particulary when that truth does damage to another so we can get what we think has been promised to us—we may need to listen harder, to look for the ram in the thicket, if you will. We need to listen for the voice shouting, “Don’t lay your hand on them!”

Or, perhaps, we need to be that voice.

In his book, Just Mercy, Bryan Stevenson tells of his work with people who have been wrongly incarcerated in Alabama. He founded the Equal Justice Initiative to give hope and voice to those bound up by our unjust system of mass incarceration. Towards the end of the book, he talks about meeting a woman he met who came to the courthouse everyday to help people. Part of what she said was,

All these young children being sent to prison forever, all this grief and violence. Those judges throwing people away like they’re not even human, people shooting each other, hurting each other like they don’t care. I don’t know, its a lot of pain. I decided that I was supposed to be here to catch some of the stones people cast at each other. (108)

Stevenson said later that evening he was speaking to a church group and referenced the story from John 8 where a crowd of men bring a woman to Jesus, saying the caught her in the act of adultery and that she deserved to be stoned to death. Though it takes two to commit adultery, the men had bound her up as the one responsible so they could enforce their view of God’s will, which left them unscathed and in charge. They were armed and ready. Stevenson continues,

I . . . reminded people that when the woman accused of adultery was brought to Jesus, he told the accusers who wanted to stone her to death, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” The woman’s accusers retreated, and Jesus forgave her and urged her to sin no more. But today our self-righteousness, our fear, and our anger have caused the Christians to hurl stones at the people who fall down, even when we know we should forgive or show compassion. I told the congregation that we can’t simply watch that happen. I told them we have to be stonecatchers. (108-9)

From my window on the story, I can’t explain why God told Abraham to take his son up the mountain. I can’t explain why Abraham went, or what he thought he was doing in the name of God. But, from my window on the story, I see Isaac, bound and helpless, and I know that had not the angel cried out, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him,” Isaac would have been killed.

If Abraham had been left to do what he thought God wanted him to do, Isaac would have been murdered and Abraham would have thought he had done God’s will. But that is not what happened. But Abraham heard a different voice, saw God in a new way, and Isaac and his father came down the mountain together. Isaac lived because the angel spoke up.

The ones who most often make the news speaking for God keep saying that God is demanding the sacrifice of those on the margins so the privileged can continue to prosper. God needs others —God needs us—to speak up, to shout, “Don’t lay a hand on them.” In big ways and in small ways, God needs us to be stonecatchers, to offer life and love and hope to those bound up and unable to free themselves. We may not make the news, but have to do more than just watch from our window. Amen.

two questions

Though I preached this sermon only a couple of days ago, the events of the week have continued to unfold. Rather than try to update it, I will let it stand as its own little time capsule, even as I continue to figure out how to respond to what is happening around us.

“Two Questions”
1 Kings 19:9-18; Matthew 14:22-33
A Sermon for First Church of Christ, Congregational, East Haddam, Connecticut
August 13, 2017

Perhaps it will come as no surprise that I spent a good bit of time last night rewriting my sermon after the events in Charlottesville, Virginia over the last few days. Off and on yesterday, I read news reports online and followed the Facebook feeds of friends who were in Charlottesville to stand against the terrorism, violence, and hatred being inflicted on that community. They sang, “This Little Light of Mine” and they stood in silent solidarity. They did not respond to the violence with violence. Choosing to strike back is not a solution that offers hope. I prayed a lot, sent notes of encouragement, and wondered how to make a meaningful response from what feels like so far away. Then I went back to the two stories we read this morning.

Both Elijah and Peter were working out what it meant to be a person of God in difficult times.

Elijah had the title: he was a prophet with a capital P, which sounds important. Yet, when we join him, he is holed up in a cave by himself hiding. God finds him with a question: why are you here?

The self-pitying prophet answers with a woe-is-me tale: “I’ve been zealous and doing my job, but no one is listening but me, no one is keeping the covenant but me; they’ve chased the other prophets off, and I’m hiding here because I’m afraid for my life.”

God was having none of it. “Go outside and wait for me.” Elijah didn’t move, but God still put on quite a fireworks show: a gale strong enough to break rocks in two, an earthquake, and a fire—but God inhabited none of them. Then came what the King James Version calls “a still, small voice,” the translation we read this morning calls “the sound of sheer silence.” There was no voice—only a deep, compelling, gigantic silence.

I read that verse, and all I could think was

hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again . . .

In the presence of the silence, Elijah couldn’t sit still. It was the presence of God—the being, not the action—that moved him from his hiding place to the mouth of the cave; God met him once more with the same question: Elijah, why are you here?

Hang on to that question and let’s switch stories.

Though our gospel reading started at Matthew 14:22, it is part of a larger story that begins in verse one when Jesus gets word that John the Baptist had been executed by Herod. Jesus was deeply saddened and wanted to get away to have time to grieve. He and his disciples headed out into the desert. The crowds wouldn’t stop following. They ended up in a remote spot with thousands of people and no food. They found a sack lunch of five loaves and two fishes that Jesus turned into a giant picnic. Once everyone was fed, they tried to get away once again. This time, Jesus took down to the water and all but threw them in a boat and went off by himself to find some solitude.

Some time in the night, a storm came up. Since many of the disciples fished for a living, a storm on the sea of Galilee, which is about as predictable as stand-still traffic on I-95, would not have been an overly frightening thing. They knew how to survive a storm. What they didn’t know was what was going to happen to the rest of their lives. John had been murdered. The political situation, if you will, was changing around them. The crowds were getting bigger and harder to control and understand. Jesus kept trying to get off by himself. They could feel things were changing, that they wouldn’t stay the same forever, or even for very long. The storm was just happened to provide a working metaphor for it all.

In the middle of the night and the storm, Jesus came walking across the lake. Silently. They thought he was a ghost, at first; then they realized it was Jesus, and he said, “Take heart. It’s me.”

The translation is worth noticing again. Some translate Jesus’ words as, “Don’t be afraid,” but it is more than comfort. Take courage. Take heart. It was a call to fortitude, to faith—a gut check.

In the second phrase, Jesus was doing more than identifying himself. He was proclaiming his presence: “Take heart. I am,” reminiscent of the way God answered Moses when he asked whom he should say sent him to Pharaoh—God said, “Tell them I AM sent you.”

Just as Elijah had moved to the mouth of the cave when he heard the silence, Peter moved to the edge of the boat and said, “Command me to come to you”—call me to do what you are doing. Jesus simply answered, “Come.”

Peter was out of the boat before Jesus put the period on his short sentence, and he was walking on the water. All of a sudden he noticed the wind the same way Wylie Coyote noticed he had followed the Road Runner off of the cliff in the old cartoon, and he started to sink. He cried out for help and Jesus caught him. As he helped him into the boat, Jesus asked Peter a question: What made you lose your nerve?

For most of the week, the sermon I was going to preach was about the importance of living our lives with a sense of appropriate insignificance. What I mean is, yes, we are wonderfully and uniquely created in the image of God and worthy to be loved, and so is everyone ever created. It matters that we are here for our days on the planet and when we die, life will go on without us, thank you. It was a good sermon, yet, in the wake of Charlottesville, the two questions carried a deeper sense of urgency: Why are you here? What made you lose your nerve?

Jesus reinforced words from his Hebrew upbringing when he said, basically, that the answer to why we are here is to love God with all of our beings and love our neighbors as ourselves. That word neighbor might as well read “everybody you can.” Love those who live in fear when they see mobs of white terrorists carrying torches, and love the terrorists.

The prophet Micah said what God requires of us is to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God. Cornell West said, “Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public.” Justice is not about payback or revenge. It is also not silent. Though we may have had a lot of silence in both of our stories this morning, but now is not the time for us to be.

Then we answer the first question—that we are here to love God and to love one another—calls us to face the second question as American followers of Jesus: what made us lose our nerve?

I am not saying Charlottesville happened specifically because we failed to do something. I am saying the racist attitudes that manifested themselves as the organized chaos of terrorism in Virginia are alive and well in our northern neighborhoods, in conversations we hear in our coffee shops, in the way our cities and towns remained divided by race and economics.

Most of the white men who marched yesterday were millennials, which means they were born after the Civil Rights Movement, after Martin Luther King’s words became a part of our cultural vernacular. They are not “them”—they are us. We have to find the nerve to tell the story differently. My wife Ginger is a part of a group in Guilford who have been researching the eighty enslaved people who lived in our little town. One of them was owned by a pastor at the Congregational Church. Slavery stopped in the north, in large part, because it was not economically viable. Our geographic location does not mean we automatically get to claim the high road. And many of our denominational forebears had the nerve to follow the convictions of their hearts and fight for abolition because of their faith in Christ.

How do we find the nerve to speak up in Jesus’ name? How do we find the nerve to live with disquieting compassion? To let our little lights shine? How do we find the nerve to look within ourselves and within our community and ask what we need to do to change? How do we work for that change and not just talk about it?

In a few moments, we will share Communion together. We often present the Eucharist as a comfort food: Christ gives us life in the bread and the cup, in his body and blood. I want to invite us to be discomforted by the meal this morning.

On the night Jesus was betrayed—and he could already feel it coming—he took the bread and he broke it and he had the nerve to say, “This is my body broken for you; this is my blood poured out for you. As often as you share this meal—maybe any meal—remember I had the nerve to love you.”

Maybe I am preaching the sermon I first thought of. Our days are numbered. It matters that we are in this place for these days. We will not be here forever and we are here now. The reason we are here is we are called to love the world. May we find the nerve to do so. Amen.

Peace,
Milton

a forgiving air

I am a few days late posting my sermon from last Sunday, but here it is.

“A Forgiving Air”
Genesis 32: 3-12, 22-32
A Sermon for The United Churches of Durham, Connecticut
August 6, 2017

To say their relationship was difficult would be an understatement. Jacob, the younger brother, had cheated Esau out of the blessing due him as the oldest son. Then Jacob fled, at his mother’s urging, because Esau was so angry. The air, you might say, was thick between them. Jacob changed his location, but not his conniving ways. He always seemed to feel he had to play the system, somehow. It was in his name: Jacob means supplanter—which is not a word we use often these days—how about circumventer, overreacher, deceiver. Almost from the beginning he thought that if he was going to get what he thought he deserved, he was going to have to make it happen. No one was going to give it to him. He was last in line, even though it was a line of only two. He had to get to the front so he could grab it all. Even though he ended up quite wealthy, and married to the woman he loved, it was not enough. There was never enough.

Esau’s name means hairy; some say it’s Hebrew word play on the word red, like the desert soil. He was an outdoors guy, a man of the desert. A hunter. Things were what they were. There was not a lot of ambiguity in the desert. He gave up his paternal blessing for breakfast because he was hungry. Only later did he realize Jacob had stolen him blind.

Where we join the story, Jacob and his whole family are on the move again—this time because of a “misunderstanding” with his father-in-law Laban. The whole crew—family, servants, livestock—are in flight when some of the servants bring word that Esau is on his way to meet him. With four hundred men. As far as Jacob was concerned, that could only mean Esau was coming for his long-awaited revenge. Jacob tried to think of some sort of deception, and ended up sending an overflow of gifts in Esau’s direction and then sending everyone else in the opposite direction to camp across the river Jabbok. Then, he settled down for the night to wait for daylight and the coming confrontation with his brother.

As we read, some time in the night an unidentified man showed up and began to wrestle with Jacob. They struggled the remainder of the night, under whatever star shine there might have been, until—at daybreak— the man yanked Jacob’s hip out of joint and Jacob hung on for dear life to the point that the man pleaded to be released.

“Not until you bless me,” said Jacob.

The man responded by saying, “You are no longer Jacob; you shall be called Israel.” Jacob had a new name. He was no longer to be known as the deceiver, but as one who had prevailed with God. One who hung in there. One who didn’t hit and run. The man disappeared—we are not told anything else about him. Jacob built an altar because, he said, he had seen God face to face. He walked away broken and blessed.

Most of the time, as with our lectionary passage this morning, this is the point where we stop and talk about what the story means; we often talk about how God works through our suffering, how we struggle to come to repentance, or how our woundedness deepens our faith and compassion. All of those thoughts have merit and meaning, yet the story between Jacob and Esau doesn’t end in the dusty dawn on the banks of the Jabbok.

As the night air turned to dawn, Jacob looked up and saw Esau and his whole entourage coming across the desert. There was nowhere to go. No other cards up his sleeve. Instead of wrestling, he fell to the ground in apparent submission. Esau picked him up and hugged him. Hard. There was no trace of anger in the man. No bill to pay for all Jacob done to his older brother. Esau asked about the family he could see gathered on the other side of the river. He asked why Jacob had sent all the stuff, and Jacob was honest enough to say he was hoping to buy favor with his brother. I love Esau’s reply:

“I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” (33:9)

Enough. I’m not sure that was a word Jacob understood. He had never had enough. He had never been enough. Even with his flocks and family in abundance, he had—only hours before—been begging desperately for a blessing. Now, face to face, his brother was offering one without a struggle. And Esau had more to say: “Let us journey on our way, and I will go alongside you.” (33:12)

Let’s do this together—you and me.

“You go ahead,” Jacob said. “I’ll catch up.” He watched his brother move off in one direction and, once he was out of sight, Jacob went another. Esau’s blessing was more than Jacob could was willing to receive. Rabbi Rachel Barenblat offers this take on the moment in her poem, “Encounter.”

When Esau saw him he came running.
They embraced and wept, each grateful
to see the profile he knew better than his own.

You didn’t need to send gifts, Esau said
but Jacob introduced his wives and children,
his prosperity, and Esau acquiesced.

For one impossible moment Jacob reached out.
To see your face, he said, is like seeing
the face of God: brother, it is so good!

But when Esau replied, let us journey together
from this day forward as we have never done
and I will proceed at your pace, Jacob demurred.

The children are frail, and the flocks:
you go on ahead, he said, and I will follow
but he did not follow.

Once Esau headed out toward Seir
Jacob went the other way, to Shechem, where
his sons would slaughter an entire village.

And again the possibility
of inhabiting a different kind of story
vanished into the unforgiving air.

The unforgiving air. What a phrase. It was the only air Jacob knew how to breathe. Whatever had happened the night before, new name or not, when he looked into his brother’s eyes and saw God face to face he couldn’t take it. He didn’t hang on; he let go. It was far easier to see God in the stranger than in the unabashed forgiveness of his brother.

How could he talk it all in? How could he enter a new atmosphere? How could he draw from a new life source?

The companion gospel passage from the lectionary today is what we commonly call the Feeding of the Five Thousand. A multitude of people had followed Jesus out into the desert, hoping for words that mattered, and without much thought, it seems for their personal well being. They were hungry and isolated and there was no food. Even the disciples were convinced it was a suffocating crisis. There was not enough. All Jesus said was, “Feed them.”

They found one boy with a sack lunch of fish and bread. Not enough, for sure. They brought him to Jesus anyway. Jesus blessed the lunch and they started serving. The little boy’s offering changed the atmosphere. People relaxed, ate, shared, and when the had finished there were leftovers. They all breathed in the forgiving air.

My friend Kenny reminded me that years ago Jason Robards was interviewed on Inside the Actor’s Studio and he said, “The actor’s job is to rearrange the molecules in the room.” Another way to say it might be to change the atmosphere. The change the air. Esau tried with his invitation to a new relationship, but Jacob refused. The little boy offered his lunch and everyone ate. Both made small gestures that loomed large.

Our Communion Table is set with small gestures. As people often prone to expect scarcity, perhaps we do ourselves a disservice by setting our table with these tiny morsels of bread and miniature cups. Like the little boy’s lunch, it doesn’t look like much. Our meal hardly qualifies as a tasting, yet the love it represents in overflowing and abundant. When we take and eat, we rearrange the molecules of our lives in Jesus’ name.

The apostle Paul challenges us to set things right with others before we come to the Table: to commit to travel together for the days to come; to fill our lungs with a forgiving air. We can walk away hungry, like Jacob, or we can fill our hearts with our life together in Christ.

The hymn we sang just before the sermon, “O Love That Will Not Let Me Go,” was one of my father’s favorites because of the story behind it. George Matheson was engaged to be married when he found out he was going blind. When he told his fiancé, she broke the engagement. And then he wrote,

O love that will not let me go
I rest my weary soul in thee . . .

It is that love that brings us to this meal together, that fills our hearts and lungs with a forgiving air. Each Sunday morning, my wife Ginger begins our service in Guilford by saying, “Breathe in the breath of God; breathe out the love of God.” Her call to worship is our call to the Table: breathe in the forgiving air of God; breathe out the love that feeds one another, the love that will not let us go.

Come, all is now ready. Amen.

you’ve got to carry that weight . . .

“You’ve Got to Carry That Weight”
Matthew 10:37-42
A Sermon for First Church or Christ, Congregational
East Haddam, Connecticut
July 2, 2017

When it comes to the stories of our faith, there’s not a Sunday that goes by that we don’t start in the middle of something. Our passage for this morning is a good example. The preceding chapters are a succession of Jesus’ daily interactions with people—healings, questions, challenges, parables. Then Jesus pulls the twelve aside for more specific instructions that are a not so much a pep talk as a gut check. He is trying to make sure they understand what they are doing together. A big part of Jesus’ ministry was spent trying to make sure people understood what he was saying and what he was asking of them. They didn’t always understand. As the stories have been handed down from generation to generation of Christians, so have the difficulties in understanding. Our passage this morning is one of those difficulties.

One of my favorite writers is a man named John Berger. He was an art critic, a social activist, a thinker, and a person fascinated with humanity. I said was because he died earlier this year. I am grateful for all he wrote down, because I keep going back to it. In one short essay, he talks about difficulties in translations of literary works. He says the usual practice is to translate word for word and then adapt the words to make them fit the second language. He says most of these translations are “worthy but second rate.” Then he wonders why this is true, and answers his question:

Why? Because true translation is not a binary affair between two languages but a triangular affair. The third point of the triangle being what lay beyond the words of the original text before it was written. True translation demands a return to the pre-verbal. We read and reread the words of the original text in order to penetrate through them, to reach, to touch the vision or experience which prompted them. (Confabulations 4)

As heavy and intellectual as his words are, I have to say the first place my mind went was to the movie, The Princess Bride. After Vizzini keeps repeating, “Inconceivable,” every time something happens, Indio Montoya says, “You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

The meanings of words change, from language to language, from century to century, even over the span of a few years—even when we are translating words in the same language over time. When we hold on to old words, we have to update the meanings, which an unending task, and not an easy one. I grew up with the King James translation of the Bible that talked about “the fear of God.” I thought it meant we had to be afraid. That’s not what fear meant in the early 1600s. It meant to stand in awe—in amazement and reverence. Those same translators wrote, “Be ye perfect, as God is perfect.” Again, perfect has changed meanings over four hundred years. What they did was—how did Berger put it?—a worthy but second rate translation.

I say all of that because I got hung up on a word in today’s passage, one that John Berger used in the sentence I just quoted: worthy.

Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”

How are we to understand that word?

When we try to get back to the experience of Jesus and the disciples that prompted Jesus’ words, we begin to see that we have only a few details about what was going on in their lives: they were being followed by larger and more persistent crowds, they were overwhelmed by people in need, they were facing greater scrutiny by some of the religious leaders, and they were on the radar of the Roman occupying force who weren’t happy about the possibility of a popular leader rising up from the masses. But we don’t get to all of the back story, the smells and sounds and feelings that would put some meat on the line drawings the gospels offer us.

What I can get to are the experiences of my life that color how I hear the words—how I translate them. When I hear the word worthy, as in “you’re not . . . ,” it sinks into my back story. I am someone named for my father, who was named for his father. Both men were determined to change the world. Both men also lived with deep insecurities. They never felt good enough. They never felt worthy. I inherited some of that along with my name. My time on the planet has shown me that a haunting sense of unworthiness doesn’t only belong to men named Milton. Maybe you know what that feels like, too.

The translation, “You are not worthy,” sent me searching for another way to understand it, since the words, as they are translated in our Bible, don’t ring true to the Jesus I know in my heart. I looked up the Greek word axios, which is translated as worthy in most every version I read, and I found this definition: “weighing, having weight, having the weight of another thing of like value, worth as much.” You are not worthy to be my disciples means you aren’t able to bear the weight of discipleship—you aren’t able to live up to the gravity of the commitment.

I realize that neither Jesus nor his contemporaries would have known the word or the concept of gravity, but it gave me a new way to hear the passage. Listen to the verses again.

Whoever loves father or mother more than me doesn’t grasp the weight of following me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me doesn’t grasp the weight of following me; and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me doesn’t grasp the weight of following me.

If the gravitational pull of our commitment to follow Christ is not the fundamental force that orders our lives, we have some things to learn about the weight of both the world and the weight of the call to follow Jesus, which leads me to the second thing that came to mind—the Beatles singing, “Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight a long time.” Yes. And we have to carry it for a lifetime.

Jesus is not speaking out of insecurity here; he is not setting up a competition, calling us to pick him over family. He is saying, If your family relationships don’t have to gravity to hold your universe together. Your friendships don’t have the gravity to hold your universe together. The fundamental force must be your relationship with God to make the most of all the other relationships in your life. We must carry that weight everywhere we go, if we are going to keep our promises to God and to others.

The weight of discipleship is weight both in term of significance and heaviness. There is a burden to living out the love of God. My brother calls it “the paradox of blessing.” Gabriel, for example, told Mary who her son would be, and Mary said, “Let it be just as you said.” (We keep coming back to Beatles songs.) Her life was made more meaningful by Jesus, but it was not made easier. She carried that weight her whole life. To let our commitment to Christ be the weight that grounds us means to carry the burden of difficult relationships we would rather avoid or write off; it means investing in each other as a congregation, rather than making our involvement conditional on getting our way; it means carrying the weight of the world—from our home, to people on the street, to the poverty and injustice around the world. How else can we bear the weight if our primary allegiance, our defining force is not in our love for God?

Heavy. I know. And bearable, with the help of God.

Jesus finishes his talk with his closest disciples by saying, basically, that we carry the weight one step at a time: “Whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones” understands the gravity of discipleship. Notice a need and respond. Yes, the needs are endless. Relentless, like gravity. They are everywhere, if we choose to see them. Wendell Berry said, “Great problems call for many small solutions.”

As those created in the image of God and worthy to be loved—and I do mean worthy, as in worth it, in God’s eyes—we carry the weight, the burden, of the world together. We don’t have to fix the needs; all at once; we don’t even have to fix them all. But we are called to notice them. To carry the weight of response of compassion. Look at the way Jesus carried the weight of the world—he walked and talked and touched and loved: he lived a lifetime of small solutions, meeting the needs in front of him.

God calls us to carry the weight of the world. Come, let us carry that weight together—in Jesus’ name. Amen.