Today felt more like March than May.
I drove up to the Inn about three o’clock to find The Owner and see if I couldn’t get a clearer picture of what is going on. The first person I saw was one of the other chefs I work with who was coming out of the function kitchen rather than the restaurant where he usually works. He told me he had been told I was not coming back. With that information in hand, I went inside to wait for The Owner who had gone to run an errand. When he came in, I asked for a few minutes of his time and followed him up to his office. He sat down and looked at me as though he had no idea why I was there.
Ginger and I have been rehearsing what I might say (and how I might say it – often the larger issue for me) over the last couple of days. I’m not going to recall the whole conversation because I don’t feel the need to embarrass him, but I will say I felt good about what transpired in that little room. I said what I needed to say without resorting to a personal attack or falling into a power struggle. I stood up for myself and got the money he owed me, which was not a done deal when I went in. I also got to say goodbye to the people I enjoyed working with during my eighteen months at The Inn. Then I got in the car, drove to the bank and cashed the check, and went to meet Ginger so we could go to the gym.
He never knew about the nights I drove home and talking to Ginger on the phone and telling her how much I loved my job. He never knew how much fun I had with my Brazilian buddies plating up the steaks for the functions. He never knew because he only knew me as an appliance and not a human being. At one point in our conversation today, I called him on something he had done and he snapped, “I’m the owner; I can do anything I want.”
“Actually, that’s not true,” I answered. “You can’t treat me like I don’t matter and get away with it.” Soon after that, I gave him back his key and left. I drove away both unemployed and unburdened. Whatever is next, my time with him today confirmed that it is time for me to not be there: there is no room for me at The Inn.
As I remember another story, that’s not necessarily a bad thing . . . .
The owner doesn’t deserve to have a wonderful person like you working for him. He obviously didn’t appreciate your talents and hard work. I’m sorry you lost your job. You did not deserve to have that happen to you. You have a great attitude about this experience and you will find another job. I hope a job where they appreciate you. Good luck to you. Hang in there. I will say some prayers for you. I enjoy reading your thoughts and you always make me look at life in a different way. Many blessings to you.
Here is the blessing I see in this part of your journey. You have experienced the best parts of this gig that were offered. And shared fellowoship and expansion of your skills in the process. While still tied to the smallness of the Owner and his operational sensiblities. And in that time you grew and learned. And have now outgrown that which is no longer working for you. You went in and faced him and told him, without rancor, what was wrong with his cowardice in handling the situation.
You have done everything needed here to move on to a much better place. Though it’s not in front of you right now. It will come. “If you chop it, he will come”. Go watch “Field of Dreams”. You’ll feel better.
God bless you and your proactive courage to jump without seeing the net. It’s there ,the net. But you don’t see it yet.
Remember, today is just one day. What happened today was only what happened today. Tomorrow is a new day. A different day. When you wake up, God will still be there, er, here, and will still be counting the hairs on your head.
I’m sorry that you lost your job today. I am glad though that you felt that you could say the things that you felt you needed to say. It will be good for you to be away from such a toxic environment; good things are coming your way. Lissa
After you watch ‘Field of Dreams’, watch ‘Dreamgirls’. Just because.
I’m sorry that you have been denied the opportunity to continue doinig something you loved, in an environment that mattered to you. It’s good to remember that you made a difference in that place, one that went beyond plating food. You’ll probably never know the impact of your presence.
But your time there has marked you, for sure, and my prayer is that the imprint would be positive, free of bitterness and something that propels you into new hope and new circumstances.
From your recent posts, much of your life seems to be in transition these days. Whether those changes come from within or without, you seem to be navigating them with a touch of promise. That’s a good thing.
Thanks for sharing. Your words are encouraging.
Many prayers for you and Ginger, as well. Enjoy the weekend!
There is no room in THAT Inn for me either…I will never go back!!!
I’m going through a job change too, having left my 10+ year place of employment (after about 2 years of suffering through). I have new employment lined up, but have been out of work for 3 months. I can honestly say its been the best 3 months of my life. Lots of time for reflection, writing, photography and family. I’m actually looking forward to going back to work now with a new attitude and approach to life. I hope the same for you and will pray for you during this transition.
Perhaps like an unhealthy marriage, or any unhealthy relationship, you have received the lessons to be learned and are now free to move on. You certainly gave of your spirit and that makes a difference even if The Owner never recognized it. And you model for others the courage and integrity in navigating a difficult situation. Prayers and blessings as you step into the unknown, gratitude for the grace you live and share.
It sounds like you are at peace with it or on the way towards it. I am not sure if anyone is ever really at peace but I am rambling.
Here’s to tomorrow. It can’t get worse than yesterday (Bon Jovi).
you sound at peace with this…i greatly enjoy reading your writing. thank you for blessing me regularly.
Milton I have been out of touch for a few days. Saddened on your behalf, but not surprised (given what you had written recently).
Blessings, friend. You have so much to offer, such a bountiful table to set… I know you will have another opportunity to show holy hospitality.
I am a few days behind in reading your blog and was sorry, in a way, to read this entry. It is so evident by the way you write how much you loved cooking, creating and serving the people at the Inn. I agree with Susan that the owner doesn’t realize what a fantastic treasure he had in his kitchen all that time.
I’m also reminded, that even though the road turns, and you can’t always see over the next hill – that God uses incidents like this to bring us into contact with the people who need us most. I suspect, tho I can’t be sure, that this is what’s happening in your life.
You’re in our thoughts and prayers down here in Texas,
Josh and Allie
Good Morning Milton, I am just catching up on your blog so this news came as a bit of a shock. I admire you so much for how you handled yourself with The Owner.