there are days when it’s hard to put one word
in front of the other and push a page past blank.
there are nights when what looks like tired is
more. there are afternoons spent preparing for
evening meals for people I never see and I have
energy to cook the steak to order and reduce
the sauce to a perfect consistency, hanging on
to the meat even as it pools on the plate. I want
that stuff to follow me home, but it trails off
like air out of a balloon and, by the time I bring
what’s left of my day to her and she asks how
I am, all I can say is, “OK” unconvincingly. Being
with her is the best part of my day, yet I know it
costs her deeply to be here with me. still, she stays.
that’s true everyday, thank God.
“The root of Christian love is not the will to love but the faith that one is loved, the faith that one is loved by God. The faith that one is loved by God although unworthy – or, rather, irrespective of one’s worth. In the true Christian version of God’s love, the idea of worthiness loses its significance.” (Merton)
Keep the faith.
Thanks for putting into words what I’m sure so many of us feel. Great post!
I know those days.