advent journal: sundowning

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sundowning

some twenty winters ago
I learned to leave the house
before sundown so I
do not go down with it

outside the darkness
feels expansive
the house feels
like a tomb

the darkness
is not the problem
my depression
pulls the house down

wait–say that again

the darkness
is not the problem
my depression
pulls the house down

“when i gaze into the night sky”
the psalmist says in awe
they know there is nothing
wrong with the dark

still something in
the sundown sinks me
from the inside
I dim with the day

when I go outside
I am a part of what is
opening up as night
unfolds into mystery

i join the constellation
of all creation
dancing in the dark
a connection I carry

back to the house
back inside
as day is done and
I rest in the dark

Peace,
Milton

3 COMMENTS

  1. “I learned to leave the house
    before sundown so I
    do not go down with it”
    very powerful, Milton – having grown up in a house like the one you describe, i nodded along while reading this. thank you for sharing,

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