lenten journal: sing a song

“And, when all else fails, we sing ourselves sane.” — Barbara Holmes

One of the things I’ve come to believe after nine years in Connecticut is the people who built the roads in this state never imagined that people would want to go from east to west. They made it fairly easy to get from New York to Boston, or even New York to Springfield, Massachusetts, but why anyone would want to go from Guilford to Northfield, as I did today, did not cross their minds.

The reason I made the unusual journey was I had the chance to record a song I wrote last summer as a part of the New England Songwriters Retreat, led by Ellis Paul and Laurie McAlister, which was one of the most inspirational gatherings I have had the pleasure of being a part of.

The song I wrote is called “The Belong Song.” When I played it for Ginger she said, “That is the most Milton song ever. It’s a song in search of a youth camp that I wrote during a retreat I attended hoping to strengthen my confidence in my ability to write a melody.

It worked.

The reason I got to record today is the song was voted by my peers as their favorite of the retreat, which came with a day in the studio to produce both a recording and a video, thanks to the generosity of Tracy Walton, who owns and runs On Deck Sound Studio in Northfield. With everything going on in all our lives, today was the day I got to spend in the studio.

Tracy and Eddie, his assistant, were expansively generous in the way they guided and encouraged me. Tracy also played stand-up bass, high string guitar, and drums on the track. In five hours we had all the pieces of both the song and the video in hand. Now they will put their finishing touches and then send me the final versions in a few weeks.

Though it will be almost nine months since the retreat by the time I can share the song, the timing feels pretty good. We need a Belong Song. The chorus of mine says,

you belong and I do too
we belong yes me and you
everybody sing the song
everyone belongs

I can’t count how many times I sang those words today–and they didn’t get old.

I read the quote from Barbara Holmes at the top of this post yesterday and drove him this evening convinced she speaking truth. I didn’t read the news or engage much on social media, I just sang and played with my little village of three in the woods of northwest Connecticut and imagined where the song might go once it gets a chance.

Last night I told Ginger that I have become aware of a level of anxiety in myself that is odd for me. I live with depression, but anxiety has not usually been a significant part of the mix. The state of our country makes me anxious, even frightened. Singing today made a difference. I drove home this afternoon more calm and centered. Nothing changed but me.

Today, that’s enough.

Peace,
Milton

PS–As soon as I have the music, I will share it, I promise.